Monday, 17 July 2017

Nkem Edem: 5 Perks of Having a Bestie of the Opposite Sex

“Is it truly possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex with no strings attached?”

Believe it or not, men and women can be friends. Just friends….no strings attached, no intention of crossing the line by eventually falling in love or having sex! Being a girl with mostly close male friends, I have first hand experience. And while there is the irritating and unending struggle of always having to defend the platonic nature of the friendship, there are indeed so many advantages to having a BFF with different genitalia.

Here are a few:

Emergency dates/plus ones
It is easier to bear the stigma of being single when you have a male BFF. They come in handy as your plus on for weddings, parties, events and even family gatherings. You not only have someone to take selfies with, you also have someone to trade small gossip with at boring work events, dance with at the reunions or just someone to hold your purse when you go the bathroom. Even more, they are a good way to defend yourself and boost your confidence should you run into an ex. Not only can the bestie speak for you when your voice refuses to show up, you can spice things up and taunt the ex by making him feel you and your bestie are now an item; his suspicion that there was more to your friendship was true after all. A good bestie always plays along.

Perfect Wing Mates
Having a bestie of the opposite sex not only reduces the competition when you are out, but they can assist with picking up chicks or giving the dude the much-needed signal. “Hi, my friend over there finds you attractive, what do you think? Would you like to come join us?” It is easier for the potential bae to warm up to a guy when there is a female middle man. Also, a guy finds it flattering when they are being lobbied for a female friend. It feels less awkward coming over to the table or giving their number out.

They are your cheat sheet to understanding the mind of the opposite sex
They are of the opposite sex, so they can actually give you authentic insight as to how people of the opposite sex thinks…and this usually is of great advantage to your love life (if you are heterosexual) as they not only grant you access to most complicated part of the opposite-sex’s brain, they can help you evaluate your love life from a different perspective. You don’t have to read self-help books when you have the real deal as a Bestie. Again, they become your second eyes as they vet your love interests before you get emotionally involved so that they see the things your infatuated eyes fail to see.

The relationship is drama free
Unless you are a teenager or a drama-loving clinger who derives some sick pleasure from pulling a sort of power play on other humans, you know that life is a lot better when lived drama-free. Same-sex friendships usually come with a lot of drama as there is a subtle and underlying competition between the two of you, whether you want it or not. You see and feel things the same way and it much more difficult to truly resolve certain things. Als, you seem to be vying for the spot in the universe but in the case of friendship with the opposite sex, things are completely different. There is hardly any drama as things are straightforward and simple. In the situation of potential drama, it is easy for the other sex to help them disentangle and get some guidance about how to handle situations without much judgment or fuss.

They recognize and call you out on emotional BS
I am going to tell that b*tch she is a whore!”Please don’t, you are the one being a b*tch right now.” Basically, they are in the best position to help you stay grounded emotionally. So many times I have called my male besties to moan over something emotional and they shut it down, also vice versa. They handle it so much better than my friends of same sex. Somehow they are more in tune to your emotional tendencies and know how best to get you out of the funk without necessarily killing your spirit, especially when it concerns relations with other people. They are also able to manage your communication channels (texts and social media posts) and send constructive messages on your behalf when you are emotionally inept.

You can truly be yourself
Even when you are dating and you are super-close to your bae, you worry that constantly reaching out to them would make you too available or portray you as being clingy. You are still cautious about certain things. However, with an opposite sex bestie, you can talk about anything at any time without necessarily having to moderate the timing.  You can be extra goofy and even cuddle without being afraid you would ruin it. Also, you comfortably send them lewd memes and discuss topics such as farting, period, and of course, sex in unnecessarily graphic details -without feeling judged.

About Nkem Ndem
Nkem Ndem is a dynamic freelance writer and editor who can be reached for online writing(web content and blog) and editing, screenwriting, ghost writing, copy proofreading and reviews. She has since worked with Jumia, SpiceTV Africa, and Bella Naija. Check out her Instagram: @kem_dem, twitter: @ndemv and snapchat:@ndemv. Email: [email protected]

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